Thursday, April 5, 2012

Darlin . . . While I'm away.


I'm only going to be gone a short while. I'll be back before you know it.

I'll be back right when you've learned to sleep without me. You’ll be starfishing in the center of our bed when I get back. You’ll have resigned yourself to the dog sleeping on my pillow even though you've tried to stop him—that’s when I’ll be on my way back. I’ll be back when you’ve learned to check all the doors before turning off all the lights and leaving a few dishes in the sink for the next day.  And I'll be back right when you can stop having someone mow the weeds in the back.

I'll be back soon. Right after your birthday, before Thanksgiving and Christmas. Before the switch to Woodlands and soon after school starts up.

We'll be back to our habits. We’ll be doing those small, frequent physical touches every few minutes. We’ll be watching the Little Couple, Dirty Jobs, and Mythbusters while surfing the web, throwing the ball for Joey, and discussing our day. We'll be back to you watching one of your train wreck shows while I do the dishes (acting like I’m not interested in the show), and me playing PS3 games and you cooking wonderful dinners (while you follow the plot of the game).

But I know you're worried about the next six months. I won't lie and tell you I'll be 100% safe. I'll do my best to stay out of trouble. I don’t lend myself to foolish or impulsive decisions. I’ll be back and with you soon.

You'll worry about me. I can't stop you. And everything will be harder by the small things that come up while I’m gone. The batteries in the smoke detectors should be good—we just replaced them all. These small things make it harder.

I can’t stop you from worrying, but, maybe, I can help you with some of the small problems. I have a list of things I want you to remember, things that I hope will help you while I'm gone. They are things I'm worried about.
  • When you are tired it is okay to take a nap. But not too long because you'll never to get sleep at a decent hour and tomorrow will suck even more. 
    • It is perfectly okay to sleep on the floor at work.
  • When you are frustrated at the chores and feeling like they will swallow you whole, take Joey for a short walk. When you get back the chores will still be there, but Joey will be happy and you’ll feel better for getting outside with him.
    • I recommend putting music on full blast and rocking out to Sarah Brightman while doing the dishes or whatever chore is easiest. 
    • You'll probably need to move to Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood for the filing.
  • When you are not hungry and haven't eaten all day, call one of the many friends you have and invite them over for dinner. I don’t know anyone who honestly doesn’t like your cooking. 
    • Eating alone sucks, but starving your body doesn't do any good either.
  • When the battery dies in the smoke detector, after you stop screaming and crying, get the dog and leave the house. Call the XO, the SJA, Tasha and Matt, Cecilia and Tommy, or any number of our friends with someone tall enough to change the battery. Someone will help you. Our neighbors will help.
    • Please do not stack the step ladder onto a coffee table and do it yourself. 
    • Do not attack the detector with a broom or any other stick. We’d have to pay for the damage
    • However, if you do any of those things, please record it--we could send it to AVF if it is funny enough. 
  • When you don't think you can go to work . . . you'll still go to work. Your work ethic wouldn't allow you not to.
  • When the day starts too early and you can't go back to sleep, read a good book.
  • When the day ends too late and you can't get to sleep, read a good book.  And call in sick if you haven't slept at all.
  • When you find time on your hands, go take some pictures.
  • When the dog is being a pain in the butt, don't throw the ball. Go to the library and browse the shelves.
    • Throwing the ball will not help. He’ll just bring it back and want you to do it again. It never stops.
    • But he doesn’t seem to bring the ball to you as often as he wants to just be pet. 
  • When it seems too tough to keep up a strong front and you can't stop from crying, go ahead and cry. 
    • Cuddle the dog, blow your nose (not in his fur), take some headache medicine, and watch a good chick flick. 
    • Pride and Prejudice, When Harry Met Sally, Valentine’s Day, and Pretty Woman are good choices.
  • When the night is dark and making noises, just keep thinking "I am the baddest beast in the dark! The Night should be afraid of ME!"
  • When you miss me so much that it hurts, remember that I miss you and I love you with all of my heart.
I worry about you being without me. I worry about the problems that will happen while I'm away. I know there will be problems, like the light bulbs and smoke detectors. I know you are strong, determined, and independent. But I still worry.

When I’m having a hard time, I'll put on some Brad Paisley and think about time well wasted. Then I'll get back to it.

I love you.

Now, blow your nose and take those headache meds.